Perfection is not a state of being but a quest for self-discovery where defining yourself beyond your faults is key. It’s about remembering those difficult periods in life that may have been repressed by fear of being vulnerable. It’s also about claiming the successes along the way before they become just another memory. Human emotions are so complex that it would be downright impossible to deduce where they would take us if we were to truly let ourselves feel them, however deep they might be. From my 25 years on Earth, I would like to present to you the lessons that I have refined as necessary to living well and joyfully.
- Finding pleasure in the little things
I can promise you that your life will not crumble if you take things less seriously. Lean on your emotions, see them as comfort to unpredictable growth processes you will inevitably stumble upon. Let yourself live small moments of pure joy even if at times, it’s in the middle of pure chaos. You are never too far gone to create moments of peace and love for yourself.
- Becoming fearless about your desires
What this means is to avoid setting goals based on how others perceive you. Sure, perception is important for self-discovery, but it’s not the be-all and end-all for determining your goals. Things aren’t always as they seem, so knowing what you really want is the only way to figure out if you’re headed in the right direction (or if you’re just lost in the sauce). Being fearless means never looking back, especially to dodge those “supposedly legitimate sources of insecurity” that people might try to drop on you. Don’t be afraid to stand tall in your own weirdness and resist falling for those ego-driven mind games. Your life, no matter how much of a mess it is, is still yours, and when it’s not, don’t let anyone rain on your parade. Mistakes are how we learn, and they’re essential for healing, growing, and making lasting changes – plus, they make for some hilarious stories later on!
- Holding yourself accountable
You are not made of iron, and that’s a good thing. Embrace your moments of weakness, for they make you human. You will feel vulnerable, hurt, and confused, but remember, you have the strength to overcome. These feelings don’t diminish your worth, nor do they excuse any missteps. Living life to the fullest means holding yourself accountable, defending your principles, and standing up for what you believe in. Acknowledge the power you possess and the impact of your choices. Don’t opt for the easy way out. Live authentically by taking responsibility for your actions. Above all, refuse to give up on yourself. Your journey is worth it.
- Being kind to yourself
Let’s be honest, we’ve all sometimes felt out of place. Whether we were projecting or essentially being powered down. Energy fuels come and go. Your center must remain in the kindness zone where you are allowing yourself to make mistakes but you are also refraining from shaming yourself for them. Shame is the death of the soul behind closed doors. Stay strong to your roots and remain kind even in the face of adversity, let all your self doubts come from a place of love and admiration.
- Allowing others to help
I know you think you can do everything on your own and you probably could but does that mean you have to? Those who love and support you will see helping you as an opportunity, a privilege to show appreciation and God knows you deserve to feel appreciated. Be less afraid of being a bother and you’ll see how truly loved you are. Don’t resist it! Nobody can succeed at anything entirely on their own. Let love do all the work, just enjoy the fruits of your labor because to love is no easy task.
- Connecting with the inner self
Out in the world, you will be challenged with many energy formulas, triggers, doubts, and uncertainty. That is why you must create a safe inner world where there are no limits to your being, and your freedom is infinite and bright. As you sway through life, it must be from a place of union between your outer world and your inner world. The inner you has the power to create and manifest things in your outer world; therefore, the more you are connected, the more impact you will hold on the physicality of your human experience. Let it be bold and let it be beautiful and free.
- Connecting with others
Someone who is willing to connect with others learns a lot. Distance creates agony and repression. Once you learn to let others in, you are expressing security in your own self-conceptions. You get to practice the core of your being around people who either challenge you or reflect what’s already inside of you. You must not be afraid to show your true self. Avoid getting tricked into the idea that your personality is profoundly set. The smallest act can enlighten versions of you you never thought existed. The world is like a mirror. If you’re afraid to look at it, what does that say about you? What are you willing to keep from yourself to save face? Gaze at your reflection with sensitivity and innate compassion.
- Expressing yourself
Silence sure can be loud but the most powerful thing of all is standing your ground, stating your truth eloquently. You do not gain respect from shutting up…withheld feelings tend to manifest themselves. Close the gaps to who you are and who you are not once they appear in conversation. Otherwise, that said gap will only grow bigger and better overtime. A story of self abandonment can begin which can lead to resentment, denial, heartache and regret. Choose your words wisely and act toward the true parts of yourself at all times. Speak from the core of your being and breathe through it. You’ll be okay. You’ll be better than okay. What feels scary now may not feel so scary tomorrow. Your worth is something you get to define. They don’t have to understand but you should shout it anyway.
- Praising values not people or material things
What do you believe in? What makes your world spin? How much do you believe in its power? Don’t ever lose sight of what is important to you. Trace your way back to your beliefs and your values every time and you’ll never be at a loss. Memories last in the sentiments we carry, not the materialistic possessions.
- Setting small goals daily
Drink water, exercise, breathe deeply, speak to a loved one, drink less coffee, eat more healthily. Start small, enjoy the feeling of doing something that benefits you without thinking of tomorrow. Look for a sense of profound appreciation in everything you do in that way you’ll then, establish long-lasting habits that shape a disciplinary lifestyle. The promises you make to yourself, when you put it all in the perspective of self-betterment, are there to help you realize the value of trusting yourself. Small steps lead to big results and one must drop a foot to raise the other one. Don’t be too hard on yourself or you’ll be the only one that suffers so simply learn to believe you have what it takes to do what is right at all times.
- Embracing challenges
Trust in your ability to excel and consider the journey itself as the ultimate reward, rather than solely focusing on the outcomes, which can sometimes be deceptive. True transformation takes time and cannot be rushed. Both your victories and defeats should be acknowledged, as they hold valuable lessons. Never lose sight of the fact that there is always more to explore, achieve, and experience. The fulfillment derived from checking off a wish from your list is undeniable, but it loses its significance if you fail to savor the moment. Furthermore, opting for the easier path may lead to less satisfaction and potentially greater exhaustion than pursuing what appears unattainable. Challenging the boundaries of our minds requires courage, yet the rewards are invariably worthwhile as long as the pursuit continues to inspire and strengthen you.
- Exploring sensuality
Sensuality is a deeply personal experience, unique to each individual. For me, delving into and embracing my physical being is a path to releasing tension and confronting truths that I may be reluctant to acknowledge. In Hinduism, this is referred to as the sacral chakra – the hub of creativity and self-esteem. As women, our satisfaction is often undermined by various forces, making it crucial for us to assert our sensuality and sexuality as a means of reclaiming our power. There should be no shame attached to our sensuality, as doing so only breeds unfulfilled yearning, leading to suppressed emotions and a betrayal of our genuine desires. Pleasure, love, acceptance, and humility are the essential ingredients for finding solace. Whether seeking sexual pleasure through self-exploration or within an intimate connection, it is vital to ensure that our body is as liberated as our mind. Any imbalance will be felt, serving as our intuition guiding us toward our rightful path, a force we must heed every single time.
- Celebrating
Your 20s are a precious time, despite the illusion of their endlessness. As time progresses, you may find yourself contemplating the significance of each moment, be it a day, a month, or a year. Perhaps you reassure yourself that it’s inconsequential and that there’s ample time to make every moment count. It’s easy for life to speed by as you juggle work, studies, and societal expectations. Remember to cherish each present moment, as tomorrow is not guaranteed. Make every day meaningful by embracing life, whether it’s a small or significant achievement, and, above all, acknowledge your successes. Every day can be a celebration, and there’s always something to rejoice in if you’re fully immersed in the moment. Consider this: if you can infuse your life with meaning even amidst overwhelming circumstances, just imagine the sensation when everything falls into place.
- Eating well
Your health is closely tied to your diet. Feeling physically well can lead to mental clarity. Just as a clean house promotes a clear mind, a healthy body fosters a healthy spirit. Your body is your sanctuary; treating it well ensures it will provide you with comfort. Given the current economic conditions, maintaining a nutritious diet on a budget can be challenging. Exercise creativity, seek out recipes that make you feel good, and relish the experience of learning something new. Remember, it’s all about quality over quantity. When in doubt, simple dishes like ramen noodles can suffice just fine. Also, remember that your gut is often referred to as the second brain, so make sure to provide it with proper nutrients and not starve it. (Add some vegetables!)
- Sleeping well
Quality sleep is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. Your 20s mark a period of immense growth and self-discovery. Emerging from your teenage years, your body and mind crave rejuvenating rest to recalibrate. However, it’s important to note that excessive sleep can be just as detrimental as insufficient rest. Achieving the perfect balance is a collaborative effort between you and your body. As women, societal pressures may seek to impose feelings of guilt and shame upon us. Yet, I urge you to recognize these as mere distractions. Our strength lies in the unison of our mind, body, and soul. It comes as no surprise that external forces often strive to manipulate these vital connections. Embrace the power within you, and strive for harmony in every aspect of your being even if it’s as simple as sleeping cycles.
- It’s only the beginning
When you really think about it, your 20s are a renaissance. Believe it or not, you are a child again in the world at 20 years old. I like to think that at 25, I am only a 5-year-old adult, which means I won’t be able to get everything right even if I tried. My advice is to try not to be too hard on yourself and remember that being uncomfortable is growth, pushing you forward just like growing pains, if you will. Also, don’t be so tense about leaving your childhood behind; it is bound to happen anyway. I believe most of our ability to be resilient is a skill acquired from the obstacles we’ve faced in our childhood. Your 20s are, in retrospect, what you’ve practiced for your entire childhood, which in society is an age that’s devalued and diminished to ‘inexperienced’. So it’s the same field in adulthood but with the freedom to make your own choices and level the playing field to your dreams and goals instead of someone else’s. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a support system throughout it, and if not, you’re bound to find one along the way. Chosen families are just as valuable as genetic links in this disorganized and confusing rock we live on; you are lucky to have found someone who cares for you that way too.
- Practicing curiosity
You should absolutely not stay steady in following the rules. Evidently, there are levels to this depending on our character, so practice such a mantra with care. Don’t overthink; color outside the line a little or a lot and simply approach your choices with an open mind. Allow yourself to be interested without necessarily committing because there is so much more to see. Remaining curious in this course of life allows the universe to surprise you, and if you’re doing it right, then you’ll learn to trust that what is meant for you will find you. There is no purpose in trying to prepare for everything. ‘’Do it for the plot’’ is what I hear a lot on social media, so be cautious but remain curious.
- Avoiding comparing yourself
Antagonizing and unwise are the reasons why comparing yourself is habitually root of the demise of self image. Everyone has envisioned their perfect life and being at war with your visions isn’t a compliment to the version of you already living that dream. That’s who you should compare yourself with, past selves and the progress you’ve made along the way.
- Dreaming really really big
The purpose of dreaming big isn’t to flaunt the lack of what you have yet to accomplish or to determine if you are able to succeed at doing so or not. Honestly, do not stress over the creation part, the power of dream itself will lead you there. It may sound delusional but what have you got to lose?
- Looking at the bigger bigger picture
Expand on thoughts that empower you. Life is an experience where we are at times too close to appreciate. Just like art, its beauty is the significance that you define it to be. Looking at the bigger picture can offer that unique perspective that keeps you motivated and open to transformation. The best part is that you are a part of a design that no one can replicate the way you can, and so your vision is priceless.
- Refusing to settle
Settling or not is your choice. Make sure you do it in the recognition of how it aligns with what you want and deserve. It’s a subject that’ll come into play in many aspects of your life. The conditions surrounding that choice must not hold more value than the choice itself. You decide.
- Starting to build in longevity
The foundation of a home starts at the base. It is essential to shape your present in a way that will reflect in your future. Try to think ahead as much as possible, start by developing habits that expand your horizon on the possibilities. For example, if you want to plan great vacations, make a list! Write your goals down, work out the steps on paper.
- Staying focused
The most important thing about staying focused is to remain optimistic about your future self and knowing you have what it takes to make the most of your life. Determination isn’t always about rigidity or self-neglect, and discipline doesn’t have to be a tormenting factor to achieving success. A good life is a balanced lifestyle with joy at both ends. There are many ways to make the best of what we have, and the drive to obtain more and more is to leave expectations out of the equation. As soon as you look in a direction opposite of your goals, you are entertaining beliefs that do not align with the becoming of your better self.
- Falling in love
Love, at 25 is all about creating time for yourself and what you do with your free time is exactly what will define the relationship you have with yourself. Pour all the love you can carry in the becoming of your dream self. There is no waiting for someone to love you when you can already love yourself. Water what gives you life and make love an environment that you and the ones you love would want to live in.
- Try not to get in your own way
The feeling that eats away at you when you’re not feeling your best isn’t what’s holding you back. It’s what you do with it, and if you need a wake-up call, here it is: don’t become a victim of your mind’s weaknesses. Make sure you apply the lessons you learn along the way to the circumstances you encounter. To be better is to create better visions for ourselves where even if you fall short, you allow space for the belief that you are still on the right path. It doesn’t matter contextually how you feel you deserve what you have in the present. What matters is how much more you are seeking, how much more you are wanting, and how much more you’re willing to strive towards it unapologetically.
Your 20s are the years that if you squint long enough, the entire growth process can equate the makings of the rest of your lifetime. These are the choices we make and the value we assign to them. Most of the obstacles we meet in our twenties are internal, whether they are observations from your teen self, the beliefs you’ve acquired from your parents. 25 can be that time where you awaken your own sense of direction instead of being led by the current. It’s a period where hope has got to be primary in order to seal the concept of what life is truly about in our minds, that is : joy.
Marie-Antoinette 